by Gil Hockman

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I hear the words come out of your mouth But I'm sinking in the bathtub On a Thursday after work I suppose I need some looking after Some Birds fly out of the north Searching for a happy ever after When they return for whatever it's worth They'll be dragging the winter after I've never seen the break of day Come without a night as it would in Norway But I know I have felt the pain That comes with standing in your doorway And I pray for whatever it's worth For a time that I can remember Sixty years from now Without an echo of your laughter
I'm only here to say goodbye I'm only here because it's time To send this ship below the tide I'm only here to say goodbye I always feared that nothing would come after But now all I held dear fades away as the days move faster I used to think that you were the one and only I used to dream of letters you never sent me I'm only here to say goodbye I'm only here because it's time I knew you once but that was another life I'm only here to say goodbye
Maybe a happy tune can make a happy heart Maybe a snappy tune can make a snappy start Maybe a dancing tune can make a dancing start Maybe a rolling tune can make a rolling start And if I whistle while I walk And if I sometimes stop to talk And learn to work and learn to wait And if I'm early and not late Will there be a time when I'm at peace When I feel that great release When there's not weight upon my heart And there's more light than there is dark
She sings in the daytime She sings in the night All along she is waiting Like a bird for flight
I wouldn't ask so much as to change your point of view I wouldn't think so much if the story weren't so skew The times they never change, even when they seem so knew Still stuck inside this head searching for the perfect view I'm hungry for the day when love becomes a feeling Since I sent you away I've been stuck below the ceiling A shelter from the storm, people line up two by two But still my telephone call call anyone except for you When the days are days at all, the nights I hobble through The pictures on my wall, the only table set for two I'm hungry for the day when love becomes a feeling Since I sent you away there's been nothing but a ceiling
The people we lose fade away The distance we stretch, it draws out every day Seasons change the same way I'd remember your name but I don't remember your face There's never the time to make a change The harder we push, the harder it is to remain What was earned is spent in a day Sometimes the moment we met was the moment we drifted away The dream when your letter arrives in the one that's always the same The need to have your arms wrapped in mine is the one thats hardest to tame Do feelings change or get locked away Is it the past or just a path down which w never stay Seasons change day by day A star has your face and your name is in the words on a page Sometimes I feel it's alright to remember Last time I saw was here in September
When I look into your eyes When I feel you in my arms I know that something must be wrong To take me far away from home So I am here just to tell you And I am here just to say This takes me away for the last time and when I come back It'll be just like the first day They say that takings never easy I know that giving's just the same When you've lost count of those you've lied to But they're the only ones that know your name So I am here just to tell you And I am here just to say I'm going away away for the last time and when I come back It'll be just like the first day
No matter where I go I'm on my own No matter where I go I turn to stone Nowhere will I find a way Nowhere will it be today
Come into my world, where no-one stands next to me The scriptures of my heart are nothing but chemistry Come into my world where all understandings cease The light upon my path, an image I cannot see The last thing that you said about dealing with honesty A noose around my neck is a life without boundaries Terrors of the night are those of an empty page The words upon my lips are stories I tell to erase Seems like the loves I cannot claim are like the voices I cannot change And all the currents that move my heart just keep me circling in the dark
And if I'm losing it's 'cos you don't pass me the ball And if I'm losing it's 'cos you don't know which way to score And all my friends say, you should be passing to me too And all my friends say, if you don't I should just find somebody new Sometimes I dream that you're alone with me Sometimes I feel I'm only half the man I could be
Far away On your windowsill Yesterday Over river still It's cold today Wonder if it's gonna stay The time it takes For you to photograph A lonesome honey bee Splits the world in half A mind awakes To what appears at last From across the sea On an electric raft



My name is Gil and this my album called Dolorous. I got the name from a review of my previous EP by Diane Coetzer. She said I have a Dolorous voice. And I thought, Yeah! And then I thought, What does that mean? It means, ‘feeling or expressing great sorrow or distress’. And so I thought, well, fair enough. And I also thought, That is such a great word, I think I will call my next album Dolorous. And so I did. And here it is.

I wrote most of these songs in 2013. A couple of them I wrote in 2012 and of those - Seasons - the music is written by myself and Gad De Combes. The recording took place in my flat throughout January and February 2014 and while I managed to get most of it down by myself I did also have the pleasure of being accompanied by Clare Vandeleur who plays the cello on Fatherland, and by Daniel Kaplan who plays the trumpet on Fatherland and on Far Away.

Once that was all done, Dolorous was mixed by the excellent Darryl Torr at Openroom Studios (with special extra thanks to Alan, Stefan and Carmen), mastered by Troy Glessner at Spectre Studios (thanks Lynn!) and printed by Hybrid Media (Emile and Ruan!). Some of these people I know in person and some I have only met over the phone or email but I liked dealing with them all and can highly recommend their services.

And that is that about that. If you want to know more you can always visit or send me an email at I also have many other things to listen to which can be found at or


First and foremost, a really huge thanks to my parents who have put up with me for a very long time and have been incredibly supportive even when they have not understood why. This album would not be here without them. And alongside them, my wonderful sisters Shira and Dorit, who provide constant sources of inspiration and great examples to follow, and the Bergman-Beinart-Shewitz clan for all the love a guy really needs.

To all my friends, I would not have come this far without you. Thank you all so much for being around and for having me around. All the good and bad and exciting and mundane and brilliant and stupid things in life are pointless if you have no one to share them with.

And then, very importantly, this album was made possible by the funds I raised through the crowd-sourcing platform Indiegogo. I was blown away by the response and how quickly I reached my goal. To everyone who contributed: Thank you, thank you, thank you! It is a really special feeling to see that support come in and I hope that you like what you have helped to see the light of day. In particular, thank you to those who brought that much extra to the party: Dorit Hockman, Ryan Budge, Julian Redpath, Shira Hockman, Toast Coetzer, Hanna Schirge & Christian Echle, Leanne Rencken, Marcus & Ami Swanepoel, Liam & Tanya Monaghan, Meira & Maurice Hockman, Dani Bergman, Joel & Zee Bergman, Dan Querido, Greg Rom, Hagar Graiser, Darryl Bernstein, Sam Davis, Elizabeth Dostal and Nathalie Laureano. As they say in the classics: XOXOXO


released April 8, 2014

All words and music: Gil Hockman (except for Seasons -
words: Gil Hockman; music: Gil Hockman Gad de Combes)

All production, recording and performance by Gil Hockman
except for Fatherland (trumpet played by Daniel Kaplan and cello played by Clare Vandeleur) and Far Away (trumpet played by Daniel Kaplan)

Mixed by Darryl Torr (Openroom Studios)
Mastered by Troy Glessner (Spectre Studios)


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Gil Hockman Berlin, Germany

Gil Hockman is a DIY folk/indie musician.

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