Dolorous

by Gil Hockman

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  • Immediate download of 11-track album in the high-quality format of your choice (MP3, FLAC, and more), plus unlimited mobile access using the free Bandcamp listening app.

     $7 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD)

    Includes immediate download of 11-track album in the high-quality format of your choice (MP3, FLAC, and more), plus unlimited mobile access using the free Bandcamp listening app.
    shipping out on or around 01 May 2014

     $12 USD or more

     

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about

Hi!

My name is Gil and this my album called Dolorous. I got the name from a review of my previous EP by Dianne Coetzer. She said I have a Dolorous voice. And I thought, Yeah! And then I thought, What does that mean? It means, ‘feeling or expressing great sorrow or distress’. And so I thought, well, fair enough. And I also thought, That is such a great word, I think I will call my next album Dolorous. And so I did. And here it is.

I wrote most of these songs in 2013. A couple of them I wrote in 2012 and of those - Seasons - the music is written by myself and Gad De Combes. The recording took place in my flat throughout January and February 2014 and while I managed to get most of it down by myself I did also have the pleasure of being accompanied by Clare Vandeleur who plays the cello on Fatherland, and by Daniel Kaplan who plays the trumpet on Fatherland and on Far Away.

Once that was all done, Dolorous was mixed by the excellent Darryl Torr at Openroom Studios (with special extra thanks to Alan, Stefan and Carmen), mastered by Troy Glessner at Spectre Studios (thanks Lynn!) and printed by Hybrid Media (Emile and Ruan!). Some of these people I know in person and some I have only met over the phone or email but I liked dealing with them all and can highly recommend their services.

And that is that about that. If you want to know more you can always visit gilhockman.com or send me an email at gilhockman@gmail.com. I also have many other things to listen to which can be found at gilhockman.bandcamp.com or soundcloud.com/gilhockman.

!THANK YOU!

First and foremost, a really huge thanks to my parents who have put up with me for a very long time and have been incredibly supportive even when they have not understood why. This album would not be here without them. And alongside them, my wonderful sisters Shira and Dorit, who provide constant sources of inspiration and great examples to follow, and the Bergman-Beinart-Shewitz clan for all the love a guy really needs.

To all my friends, I would not have come this far without you. Thank you all so much for being around and for having me around. All the good and bad and exciting and mundane and brilliant and stupid things in life are pointless if you have no one to share them with.

And then, very importantly, this album was made possible by the funds I raised through the crowd-sourcing platform Indiegogo. I was blown away by the response and how quickly I reached my goal. To everyone who contributed: Thank you, thank you, thank you! It is a really special feeling to see that support come in and I hope that you like what you have helped to see the light of day. In particular, thank you to those who brought that much extra to the party: Dorit Hockman, Ryan Budge, Julian Redpath, Shira Hockman, Toast Coetzer, Hanna Schirge & Christian Echle, Leanne Rencken, Marcus & Ami Swanepoel, Liam & Tanya Monaghan, Meira & Maurice Hockman, Dani Bergman, Joel & Zee Bergman, Dan Querido, Greg Rom, Hagar Graiser, Darryl Bernstein, Sam Davis, Elizabeth Dostal and Nathalie Laureano. As they say in the classics: XOXOXO

credits

released 08 April 2014
All words and music: Gil Hockman (except for Seasons -
words: Gil Hockman; music: Gil Hockman Gad de Combes)

All production, recording and performance by Gil Hockman
except for Fatherland (trumpet played by Daniel Kaplan and cello played by Clare Vandeleur) and Far Away (trumpet played by Daniel Kaplan)

Mixed by Darryl Torr (Openroom Studios)
Mastered by Troy Glessner (Spectre Studios)

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Track Name: Dolorous
I hear the words come out of your mouth
But I'm sinking in the bathtub
On a Thursday after work
I suppose I need some looking after

Some Birds fly out of the north
Searching for a happy ever after
When they return for whatever it's worth
They'll be dragging the winter after

I've never seen the break of day
Come without a night as it would in Norway
But I know I have felt the pain
That comes with standing in your doorway
And I pray for whatever it's worth
For a time that I can remember
Sixty years from now
Without an echo of your laughter
Track Name: I'm Only Here
I'm only here to say goodbye
I'm only here because it's time
To send this ship below the tide
I'm only here to say goodbye

I always feared that nothing would come after
But now all I held dear fades away as the days move faster
I used to think that you were the one and only
I used to dream of letters you never sent me

I'm only here to say goodbye
I'm only here because it's time
I knew you once but that was another life
I'm only here to say goodbye
Track Name: Newish
Maybe a happy tune can make a happy heart
Maybe a snappy tune can make a snappy start
Maybe a dancing tune can make a dancing start
Maybe a rolling tune can make a rolling start

And if I whistle while I walk
And if I sometimes stop to talk
And learn to work and learn to wait
And if I'm early and not late

Will there be a time when I'm at peace
When I feel that great release
When there's not weight upon my heart
And there's more light than there is dark
Track Name: Night Bird
She sings in the daytime
She sings in the night
All along she is waiting
Like a bird for flight
Track Name: Hungry
I wouldn't ask so much as to change your point of view
I wouldn't think so much if the story weren't so skew
The times they never change, even when they seem so knew
Still stuck inside this head searching for the perfect view

I'm hungry for the day when love becomes a feeling
Since I sent you away I've been stuck below the ceiling

A shelter from the storm, people line up two by two
But still my telephone call call anyone except for you
When the days are days at all, the nights I hobble through
The pictures on my wall, the only table set for two

I'm hungry for the day when love becomes a feeling
Since I sent you away there's been nothing but a ceiling
Track Name: Seasons
The people we lose fade away
The distance we stretch, it draws out every day
Seasons change the same way
I'd remember your name but I don't remember your face

There's never the time to make a change
The harder we push, the harder it is to remain
What was earned is spent in a day
Sometimes the moment we met was the moment we drifted away

The dream when your letter arrives in the one that's always the same
The need to have your arms wrapped in mine is the one thats hardest to tame

Do feelings change or get locked away
Is it the past or just a path down which w never stay
Seasons change day by day
A star has your face and your name is in the words on a page

Sometimes I feel it's alright to remember
Last time I saw was here in September
Track Name: Fatherland
When I look into your eyes
When I feel you in my arms
I know that something must be wrong
To take me far away from home

So I am here just to tell you
And I am here just to say
This takes me away for the last time and when I come back
It'll be just like the first day

They say that takings never easy
I know that giving's just the same
When you've lost count of those you've lied to
But they're the only ones that know your name

So I am here just to tell you
And I am here just to say
I'm going away away for the last time and when I come back
It'll be just like the first day
Track Name: On My Own
No matter where I go
I'm on my own
No matter where I go
I turn to stone

Nowhere will I find a way
Nowhere will it be today
Track Name: White
Come into my world, where no-one stands next to me
The scriptures of my heart are nothing but chemistry
Come into my world where all understandings cease
The light upon my path, an image I cannot see

The last thing that you said about dealing with honesty
A noose around my neck is a life without boundaries
Terrors of the night are those of an empty page
The words upon my lips are stories I tell to erase

Seems like the loves I cannot claim are like the voices I cannot change
And all the currents that move my heart just keep me circling in the dark
Track Name: Pass The Ball
And if I'm losing it's 'cos you don't pass me the ball
And if I'm losing it's 'cos you don't know which way to score

And all my friends say, you should be passing to me too
And all my friends say, if you don't I should just find somebody new

Sometimes I dream that you're alone with me
Sometimes I feel I'm only half the man I could be
Track Name: Far Away
Far away
On your windowsill
Yesterday
Over river still
It's cold today
Wonder if it's gonna stay

The time it takes
For you to photograph
A lonesome honey bee
Splits the world in half
A mind awakes
To what appears at last
From across the sea
On an electric raft